Originally published in The Newnan Times-Herald, read here.
We all have this tick. It shows up differently for each of us. We have something, or we do something, and we make sure people inside and outside our sphere know about it.
It shows up everywhere. In wealth and what it buys. In social media and what it signals. In the quiet pride we take in how we dress, what we wear, and how whole we feel when we’re seen the right way.
After I completed my first 140.6 Ironman race, I don’t think I took the wristband off for two weeks. If there was a reason to wear a T-shirt, I wore the Ironman one so the world would know.
That led me to a question. Identify the one thing you always make sure people know about you. Then ask this: what inside you are you trying to fill from the outside?
My answer surprised me. I wanted to be recognized. I used possessions, events, and symbols so I could say, “Look at me. I matter.”
That still wasn’t the whole truth. It felt like a Band-Aid over a scar. What I finally accepted was this: I wasn’t enough for myself.
When we are not enough for ourselves, we will use anything and anyone to try to fill that hole. It never works.
When you are enough for yourself, you no longer need permission or affirmation. Until then, nothing you show the world will ever be enough for you.
What the world, your family and your community need is the authentic you.
I’ll leave you with that. Until next time.
